Ten years ago today....

I was trying to figure out what to do with my hair, find something blue (which also ended up being borrowed), frantically calling family and leaving messages on machines that in just a few hours I would be getting married, what the address was, and a quick "hope to see you there!"  I guess you could say we eloped.  His mom knew nothing of our marriage until a week later when I got his wedding band and mentioned that she "might" notice a ring on his finger, so it may be a good idea to tell her that we were married so we could at least sleep in the same room....let alone the same bed.  At first, she didn't believe us, so we had to get Carlos Santana to come bring our Marriage Certificate over (we didn't want her to find it before we had a chance to tell her).  Then it was a huge hug and "welcome to the family...you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into..."  Well, I'll drink to that!  At least I would if I weren't pregnant.  Of course, when I called my own mother to read her the marriage certificate, I got to about "...joined in holy...." before getting hung up on.  I think it was just entirely too much for her to handle.  Of course, if you knew me AT ALL back then, you'd know that running off to get married was NOT something you would expect of me.

Our marriage over the last ten years has not been perfect, and I don't think anyone can say theirs is perfect, but we have three beautiful children (I can say that now that I've seen the 3D photos of my handsome bun in the oven), an imperfect life we've built together, and a future that has no limits.  And now for the embarrassing photos:

Groom and Bride


Best man (Carlos Santana) and his future wife (our official wedding photographer)


Maid of Honor and another "one of the guys" (sorry, you don't have an alias yet)


All the ladies who showed up for my wedding.


"The guys"


The only pic of the ceremony I have...and to be honest, I don't remember much of it as it was going on; it all seemed like a dream I was going to wake from any second.  Especially when our vows discussed the importance of family and friends in supporting a new commitment such as marriage.  Our vows were not traditional, in any sense of the word.  They were taken straight from a Wiccan handfasting ritual; no mention of "God" at all; very tailored to fit our personal needs as a couple (of all of a month and ten days before tying the knot).  Yeah, sometimes I wonder "what if," but then I reach across the bed and gently lay my hand on the chest of my husband, and think, "nah, no more what if's; I'm content right here, right now."  I certainly wish I would have had a big wedding, and what girl doesn't dream of her perfect dress, with the perfect bouquet, her hair falling in place like it's supposed to, and waiting to see the look on the face of her soon to be husband as she's walked down the isle by her dad (or someone close enough to be giving the bride away)?  BUT...We got married for a grand total of $110, so who am I to complain?  No catering bills, no crazy florist running late, no wedding cake in the face disasters; just us, some friends and limited family and TGIFridays for our reception, and camping for the honeymoon.  And Shaggy (who couldn't make it to the wedding due to being in SCHOOL) running stark naked after a deer (don't ask, you DON'T want to know....)!  I do miss the days when I was looked at with this indescribably amazing look; there really are no words for it; but time and three kids will do that to ya I suppose!  Not that he doesn't tell me I'm gorgeous, or anything like that, it was just that "Just Married" look.  If you've ever been in love, you know exactly what look I'm talking about.  But I'm sure after a day of dealing with the kids, Lord only knows what chores, messy hair, broke out face (thanks hormones), and a ginormous pregnant belly; telling me that I'm gorgeous is the farthest thing from his mind.  And I love him anyways, because even if it's not on his mind, he remembers to tell me.  I'm very sensitive to things like that, and of course, after ten years, you learn things like that.  And even though he rarely reads my blog (I can be entirely too opinionated for him sometimes):
I LOVE YOU BABY.  HERE'S TO ANOTHER BETTER, HAPPIER, MORE SUCCESSFUL TEN YEARS!

 

Tired....

I'm tired of a lot of things right now, both in my life and in the world in general.  I'm tired of the Casey Anthony trial, and all the crap that came with it.  I'm tired of being tired.  I'm tired of being kicked my Mr. Karate Kid, Jr. (it really started hurting last night, like to the point it was making me jump...what's going to happen when I'm a bit further along and he's bigger/stronger?  I will have no internal organs left!)  While I'm on the subject of pregnancy, I'm tired of not being able to do things I was allowed to do 5 months ago, before I got pregnant (the litter boxes, and I feel horrible that I'm not helping with the brood of animals we have; being able to jump up on the counter to get a bowl from the top shelf, lifting and playing with my other kids; riding the cool rides at KI or the Beach with them; not feeling so worn out that I have NO energy to even pay attention to them; taking the garbage out; and even cleaning the kitchen or bathroom).  I'm tired of being poor, but I'm working on that one (one degree down, four to go...damn Ph.D's....).  I'm tired of feeling like I have to filter myself.  I do this and then I realize that this is SOOOO not me...  Okay, enough complaints for the day.

On the up side...My ten year anniversary to my hubby is tomorrow.  I have no idea what I'm going to get him/do for him, and to make matters worse, when I got our meal schedules together for the first half of the month, I scheduled "Leftovers" for our anniversary...WHAT was I thinking...  Of all the things I can do well, cooking is probably one of the best, so of course, when gifts are needed, I get to cooking/baking.  You would think that he would have put on some weight by now.... guess that's why our kids are so skinny and eat like a herd of elephants, and I keep getting told that I'm too skinny to be 5 months pregnant, yet I feel ginormous.  Of course, it doesn't really matter how I feel, because obviously I can't be that far along if I'm this small, and I have absolutely no right to feel ginormous if I'm this small.  I will do something I haven't done on this blog; post an ultrasound picture of my son.  We had a tier II ultrasound done to help rule out down syndrome.  Granted, ultrasounds are diagnostic in nature, and they obviously can't tell if there are any genetic issues without an amniocentesis, which I refuse to undergo (thanks for the horror stories mom), but EVERYTHING looks great.  I was comforted by both the specialty ultrasound tech and the perinatal expert I spoke with that the calcium deposit in Jesse's heart is completely fine, it will cause him no problems, his heart is functioning great, and this happens (calcium deposit in the heart) in about 1 in 50 pregnancies.  My chances of having a down baby are 1 in 800, same as any other woman my age, even with the soft marker of the calcium deposit, but it's not like that would change anything, finding out that the baby has down syndrome.  I mean, helloooo, he's my son, and I don't care what "special needs" he might have, I will love him no less and no more than my other children, and he will be provided for the only way I know how...the best way.  Now, without further ado...May I present to you, Mr. Jesse Donald Christopher Green: